Adult phone chat just listen
Ask if they can just listen so you can get a few things off your chest.If the situation delves into an area where you think you’ll find disagreement from the other person, finish it with, “I’m not asking you to agree with me, but can you understand where I’m coming from? We’ve talked about a few things you can say, but the most essential ninja strategy is to . Understand what a person is saying and what they appear to be feeling underneath the words.My nervous system gets triggered and I have to work hard at assuring it (me) that I am safe and to please calm down because I don’t want to react and get defensive with the person who is (or whom I feel is) demeaning me (and sometimes they’re not).Getting defensive would only exacerbate the situation and I would lose a chance to learn something, my own sense of inner peace and self-confidence, or a valued relationship.
Why Your Child May Go Silent Turns out, many parents who can claim amiable relations with their adult children feel the same way I do. Clark, a clinical psychologist located in Washington, D.
“Parents ask the wrong kinds of questions, ones that their children, rightfully or not, feel are too invasive.
The conversation can become strained, and the atmosphere can get tense and unpleasant.” Wendy Boorn, author of , agrees.
This post, then, is for anyone that has to deal with people who are difficult and who push our Hulk buttons. These skills are designed to help you shut down your trigger, so that you can leave a confrontation with your dignity intact. Before you react, imagine if what they said actually applies to them. Let’s say you’re dealing with someone who just can’t stop talking at you, and has a habit of interrupting you when you try to respond. Perhaps you actually do want to share with the person—but you don’t want their advice.
You can even turn it around and ask them directly if they ever experienced what they're describing, or felt the way they are suggesting you feel. You can hold up your hand with your index finger (not the middle one) or simply say, “I’m not finished yet; one moment please.” Or deepen your response and share, “I really hadn’t finished and when you interrupt and change the subject, I feel like you’re not interested in what I have to say.” If they are just chomping at the bit, you can listen to them, but you could also share that while you really want to listen to what they are saying, you can’t focus and truly hear them until you can finish what you were saying. You can deter your frustration by telling them that you’d like to share a story or experience without getting advice.