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With European men, if there’s mutual interest, they keep seeing that person and don’t keep hunting for better options simultaneously. Nor will they freak out when discussions of commitment or future come up.The dynamic may or may not move into a serious relationship, but they are not trying to gather other options or back up plans in case it doesn’t. Americans (both men and women) have been socialized to play games, to act unavailable, to wait a particular amount of time before texting back…

In fact, you may be experiencing attractions of deprivation, where you try to recreate the issues from childhood in your romantic partners.

There are a set of ritualized rules that are abided by in American dating culture, and if you don’t play within them, you are labeled as desperate or needy or undesirable.

So does this mean the only hope for a happy, committed relationship is to move to another country? As mentioned above, the observations summarized above are not really about where one is born, but rather a mentality that is influenced by societal and cultural values.

But when you’re surrounded by American media, filled with Barbie dolls, waif skinny models and Baywatch breasts, the idea of what ‘beauty’ is becomes skewed. European men have a quiet confidence, a demeanor that doesn’t need to scream out loud to prove themselves. The dating culture involves trying out many different options at the same time.

The American way is loud and even arrogant at times. Call it the revolving door or hedging – there’s the idea in the American approach to dating that there’s always something better around the corner.

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You’re on a conservative trip and you expect her to cover-up.

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