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So, while I only loved Adam more and more, I had expectations about what a relationship should be like, the proper timeline for it, and the most important objective: marriage.

Adam tried his best to meet my needs, but he couldn’t fulfill all of my expectations — there was no way he could understand the full scope of pressures exerted by a culture he wasn’t raised in.

He tried to explain to me that maybe, just maybe, our differences had more to do with rhetoric and semantics than actual value disparities, but I couldn’t accept that. As we passed milestones in our relationship and continued to circle the major issues dividing us, other problems arose — namely, our different cultural expectations.

Our opposing faiths meant that Adam and I had different expectations for marriage, child-rearing, and what we wanted to celebrate in life.

First, there was the aforementioned "I’m right but you just don’t see it yet" period. Our arguments about how the world worked, whether or not I’d actually witnessed "miracles," and the foundations of morality were emotionally charged.

More than one dinner out ended with me crying at the table in frustration, so we started eating at dimly lit restaurants. It was my family, the only community I had known, my education, and my profession, but it simply wasn’t for the person I loved. Luckily, Adam’s patience was just as strong as his stubbornness, and he put up with Sunday services, my parents prophesying over him, and the celibacy that I had committed to as a 13-year-old (despite the fact that I’d lost my purity ring, oops).

It seems to me that in this situation, you have a couple who are doing the right thing: not living together, but instead committing themselves to one another and marrying.

Adam was raised a secular humanist, a "nonreligous lifestance" that deemphasizes the role a God-like entity plays in a person’s life and emphasizes making good personal decisions.By 27, I had been to over 50 weddings, while Adam had been to one.On our one-year anniversary, my sister called to congratulate us and casually remind us that, on her one-year anniversary, she had gotten engaged.All the while, fireworks literally exploded above us.But after three weeks, Adam knew things couldn’t stay that blissful.

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That couple doesn’t have an accountability to the church; they are not under the I Corinthians 5 discipline of the church.

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