Dating advice for intelligent men
While it may be hard for two people from widely different intersections of race and gender to understand each other, it’s not impossible once the more privileged party (in this case, the white guy) is able to recognize their shortcomings and how the intersections of race and gender affect every aspect of a black woman’s life.A white man must be willing to work toward a better understanding of how race and gender intersect differently for everyone, and he must also be prepared to speak out against the injustices that their partners will endure.To be blunt: White guys, you often approach black women in a harmful way.Most white men are unaware of the microaggressions towards their black partner that make their chances for a second date slim to none.I wish I could say that I’m surprised and appalled by the ignorance that white men tend to show when they approach me, but I’ve come to expect it.While white men are not the only group to hold racial biases and stereotypes against black women, they tend to be the least informed on the racialized and gendered issues that black women endure.Don’t ask us “Why do black people like or do _____?” You can’t expect one person to know all things black culture.
When getting to know a black woman, don’t ask them to be the authority on black culture.
We’ve recently offered suggestions on how people of color can approach their white partner on the issue of race.
And while of course the topic of race should be an ongoing conversation with your significant other, things would go a lot smoother if men — — were able to identify and prevent racial tension from the very beginning.
And when these stereotypes are internalized and then manifested in society, it could have severe consequences.
More often than not we are looked over for jobs, we do not receive adequate education or medical care, and we are imprisoned at much higher rates than our white counterparts all because blackness is rarely associated with positivity. Often, someone from a marginalized group is expected to be the authority on that group’s culture, but that’s an unreasonable expectation.