Dating in grad school
As I write this, it’s a beautiful Friday—the sun’s out, it’s not freezing-my-butt-off cold, the weekend’s nigh, and I’m feelin fine! This is Mahnanymous, from [your grad program]—it was great to meet you at orientation!
In celebration of this OMG IT’S ALMOST SUMMER weather, enjoy this silly classic Muppets video I love, “Mahna Mahna.” Hey, is it cool if I call you Mahnanymous?! How are you liking [the program so far, particular class, place your school is in]?
You would have to recuse yourself from judging things she was part of, but what would happen if her advisor recommended she take a class in your field of expertise?
Obviously, as others have said, it would be unethical to violate the expectations set up in your school's policies (unless the policies themselves were unethical, such as Bob Jones University's old ban on interracial dating).
You should ask yourself: Is this person awesome enough that I’m willing to date them knowing that I’ll have to see them forever after we break up?
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Tell her you really wanted to go see this movie, this cool exhibit at a museum, this great restaurant, this show—does she wanna come too?
So, unless your school has a specific policy on the subject, it's probably ethical, as long as you make sure to avoid being in a position that creates a specific conflict.Visit Stack Exchange I am a 32 year old Assistant Professor. I liked her, but I realized she is a graduate student at the same university where I am faculty member. (My husband was a graduate student at the university I'm a professor at, in a different department in the same school, when we started dating.) The core ethical issue in faculty/student relationships is the power dynamic: it creates an ethical problem if you have power over her career, either in a way that could favor her (leading to concerns about favoritism) or disfavor her (leading to concerns about coercion).She is from the same school, but from a different department. In separate departments, that's not likely to be an issue: most assistant professors at most universities don't have power over graduate students in other departments.I did my first [length of time] online, and am excited to be moving onto campus next semester! And just like that you started talking to her—GO YOU! But if it doesn’t work out, you’ll have AMPLE opportunities to talk.It would be great to hang out when the new semester starts—want to get [coffee, a beer, a doughnut] together sometime? See above: you’ll be around your fellow classmates 23 ½ / 7.