But crying about my own status in that way would be like meeting a disabled person and complaining about being able-bodied.
It would place the burden of my discomfort on the more marginalized people around me.
I didn’t have to specify that I wasn’t angry at all white people.
She knew that I was frustrated with a system that awards privilege based on something as arbitrary as skin color. There was space to vent without having to reassure someone through their guilt or discomfort.
During a one-night stand with a white woman, she began crying, saying that sometimes she “hated being white.” She wanted me to reassure her that it was okay for her to have privileges I don’t.“We’ve moved forward just by discussing and sometimes arguing but trying to maintain respect.Sometimes we won’t agree but we’ll let it go.”She observes the intrinsic merit of having a person in her life with different beliefs but also recognizes that her relationship dynamic may not work for everyone.“Since Trump [was elected], I’ve learned a lot about her,” she says.Monique has discovered how outspoken her partner can be about politics and how much she cares to enact change in the world.
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Personally, I think it would be more valuable for this woman to speak up when she saw others mistreated or simply advocate for their needs.