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I think it is hard to find a balance for some people. I've had people hold a 20 minute monologue towards me and then leave without asking me anything about how I have been doing. I hoped that they would give me practical suggestions but instead they listened and listened. Then they would contemptously smile when something bad had happened to me, which can be a sign someone has a mental health disorder and it made me uneasy so I stopped talking to them. People try to take advantage of me too, and something I read made sense to me on a page about depression. They said "people pleasers" get taken advantage of more.

I am like you too I don't like small talk and wondered why it was so important so I read up about it. I learned from that and when someone said that they enjoyed freeloading (not just being frugal) that was the last straw for me.

It's kind like that e expletive-ridden pep talk a coach would be giving his team during a technical timeout called after a streak gone awry... It takes two people to maintain a friendship- not one! The problem is I tend to draw in very selfish, narcissistic people.

They want everything 'their way or the highway,' and they often don't give a crap about my feelings or needs. I've lost best/closest friends a handgun of times and countless acquaintances/new friends. I watch them be loyal, considerate, respectful and fair w/ their other friends, but with me they always turn selfish and insensitive. I prefer to find out who a person really is: what they value, what inspires them, their hopes, dreams, fears. I with we could all connect on Facebook or something. Maybe you are too kind and are reluctant to say "no" to people.

I like pondering bigger questions and having conversations of depth and substance. Maybe one of us can create a group and post the name here. I have this problem but I guess you possibly and I can temper this with "no but maybe another day" for instance.

Then all of us people w/o friends could meet people we might actually click with.:) Just found this post and read the comments, this is exactly what happens to me all the time. I have gone as far as letting "friends" live with me rent free and at the end they leave without saying thank you and never talk to me again, while they are super nice and like you said: "loyal, considerate, respectful and fair w/ their other friends"... I am like you I like learning so I do get into deep topics quickly. I thought certain people were my friends, but in the end they weren't and they really only cared about themselves.

Pity this tread is so old since I would love to find people that actually understand these feelings. That IS because you are all little snowflake retards who only care about yourselves!

Since you are already in therapy, perhaps this list will provide a useful starting point to explore various possibilities with your therapist. I am the same way except I know I have trust issues. I will cut off a person if I feel they are being manipulative or not truthful. I have no close family or friends and the other person never opened up.

They have since missed out on various things and I don't regret it.

Another friend when I went back to my home country wanted to charge me rent for the week I stayed with her and her flatmates but I did not pay up because I did not think it was fair to say this at the end of my stay.

I like intelligent conversation and have gained a wealth of knowledge to help me converse a bit easier, because I use to be painfully shy not knowing what to say to others. It is so hard to get motivated to "get out there" and try to "find" friends.

I got to the point in my life where it's exhausting and I got tired of getting my feelings hurt.

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