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AWith people spending more and more time online, accessing pornography and adult websites can be a big problem in modern marriages.Relationship counselling agencies report that a growing number of couples are now seeking help due to infidelity online or to one partner accessing adult websites.When I spoke to him again about it, he did apologise and said he won’t do it again but he then came out with a load of stuff about how unhappy he was in the marriage, that we never spend time together (which is true), but I don’t think it is fair for him to blame me.My husband is a great father and has always been very hands-on with the children who really love him and I don’t want to end up separated.
I feel a bit betrayed and worry about whether I can trust him.
You could see this as a “wake-up call in your marriage to examine problems in the communication between the two of you and to address this.
Of course your husband should not blame you and he must take responsibility for how he has hurt you with his online behaviour, but the two of you must take responsibility for improving the marriage.
However, creating this intimacy is hard work and much harder than the easy escapism of the internet or watching TV or even over-working or domestic chores.
Real intimacy is created in everyday communication, in the nitty-gritty of sharing a life together and in the hard work of resolving conflicts and accepting the other person as different to you.