Rules for relationships and dating
But I wanted to tackle here the modern rules of dating — what even are they?
The first thing to say is that the dating profile has become the lens through which we are first exposed to people, if you’re going down the online dating route (and let’s face it, this is how most people tackle dating in big cities like mine).
There was an appropriate time to have sex for the first time, an appropriate time after which to meet friends and families, etc.
But then I grew up, and became an adult, in the 2010s.
I know this is really hard — I found it almost impossible.
It’s about figuring out what you think might be valuable, but not letting that determine too much at this initial stage. They are trying to fit in getting to know you around getting to know however many other people, as well.
I did the same, slowly filtering out people who didn’t interest me.
But it took time to accept that they were maybe distracted by many other choices and I felt pressured at times to ‘stand out’ amongst them. I am who I am, they are who they are, and if we don’t work, we don’t work. This applies equally to people who are looking for a specific kink to be fulfilled as it does someone looking for a more traditional heterosexual relationship.
Dating profiles tend to be as generic as humanly possible.
Sometimes, people don’t write anything, depending on the platform. This makes it really hard to figure out if you have any interest in someone.