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It was even more frustrating that she was only attracted to women—and finding a woman who could accept her real identity was generally a challenge for her. There are many transwomen who are still transitioning and who still want a wife, lamenting about not finding that one woman who will accept them for who they are.On the other hand, it is still rare on the internet to find cisgender women like myself, especially those who are generally straight, who are actively open about dating those who identify as “crossdressers” or even those who claim to be entirely transgender. I was not put off by her feminine side at all—I was in love with her real her and not the false image she was forced to project. She was the first romantic interest I could be my true self around. What I didn’t understand right away, though, was how deep her struggles were—the fierce internal fight that was raging within her every day. I want her to know that the door is still open, and that if she ever needs someone who really loves her, I’m still here.

It is understandable that those of a different generation or who were raised with certain beliefs would be totally closed to the idea of a person being transgender, but we must not stop educating.It did not even matter that she grew up in Los Angeles—her family ruled with an iron fist, and so did the culture she was a part of.Despite all the awards that constantly put her male self in the spotlight, Vanessa never bragged about them to me, and was deeply unhappy.This male self was what the world knew, and what her conservative family wanted and accepted.It did not help that her parents had arrived in America from a country whose culture included a strict, traditional, even patriarchal view of gender.

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I sometimes wear pink, have a soft voice, have purchased the book a few times and have more Chanel lipsticks than I can count. I identify as straight, having dated men all my life, including men in the military.

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